Today, I made my debut in court. The fun part started with having to give my L a $7,000 check since I just about used up the first $5,000. Between W and I, we're now at about $20-25k on legal fees. But this is still below the costs we would have incurred if we lived separately--so I'm not choking yet dollar wise.
To add further humor, after I learned my L was running a little late and was somewhat anxious about that, as I was walking to the courthouse, a truck rolled past through a big puddle and --you guessed it--all over me!!!! I called TKKC1 and he talked me off the ledge and reminded me to remain calm and act with grace.
When i got there, I had my first chance to meet W's barricud--I mean lawyer. I was very pleasant.
The anteroom for people awaiting to be called by their judge is a truly a pathetic sight--a human relationship wrecking shop. You can tell all the DB personality types from the aggressive and cocky WAS to the bewildered/and or bitter looking LBS to the very happy and matter fact lawyers. The most awkward moments occur when the L's decide to powwow apart and leave the spouses behind together. My W looked like she was going to cry and I just wanted to hug her and comfort her (and ask what was going through her mind--was it all worth it?), but I decided to let sleeping dogs lie.
As for the legal proceedings, I'm really not comfortable saying too much other than to say that my trial should be some time in May. I will say that when we met in front of the judge, her L pursued some EXTREMELY aggreesive positions that were quite sobering in terms of my W's legal posture. But I also think my L handled it well and I was very pleased with her.
NOTE TO OTHERS: It's a fine between DBing and protecting your rights, but if you feel your S has hired a hardball L, sad as it is, you better be preared to have an aggressive one of your own (with your parameters) because with a WAS--it seems like they have no problem letting their L's be the bad guys. And if you're going to be divorced, no sense being roadkill too!
For a good part of my time there, I just prayed. My baptism is coming up on Saturday and I was not going to allow even this type of event to interfere with my spiritual quest. Actually, I felt like I was one of the most peaceful persons in the room--and with just that, I knew the Lord was with me.
After it all, it was back to our house--and while W was silent early, later, she acted with that rare glimpse of cordiality that is so lacking in our R compared to the constant anger she displays. I'll just accept the moment.
She is out tonight at a local event. Alcohol will be present as well as original OM, so it will be intersting to see when she gets home.
Whatever she does, I went to to Church today and the closing hymn was Let There be Peace on Earth. The first line is the title line, followed by "And let it begin with me." I couldn't say it any better.
