Thanks for checking in. As I noted before, I'm hesitant to post in the midst of litigation. I can't believe the amount of time spent on handling this--from responding to the complaint to gathering all my financial data for determining my net worth.
I did file an answer--on Valentine's Day no less, although we decided against having it delivered ina big red envelope with hearts (I'm still trying to keep my sense of humor )! However, I don't think she has actually received it yet, because it is not exactly a love letter--and she can't go more than 24 hours without responding to anything I present--even if it's positive!
Alas, this is such a negative process, but I have to keep reminding myself that it was not the road I chose. Hopefully, we'll have a preliminary conference with a judge in the near future and I can get a better sense of legal horizon--apart from having to pay lawyers. My half-joking fear is that the legacy W and I will leave is a seminal law case on our State's divorce law that is read and chuckled at by generations to come. Everyone can Google Merrick v. Merrick! God willing, we won't reach that point.
On the plus side, I am no longer a catechumen, but one of the "elect," and I get to pick a confirmation name after one of the saints. Thomas--for Saint Thomas More, the patron saint of lawyers, is aleading contender. He was beheaded by Henry VIII for supporting the Pope over the King on issues of marriage and divorce as Henry split from Rome.
So with my approaching baptism, confirmation, and first communion--the Devil is taking a side-by-side stroll with me on one side dangling the remnants of my marriage over my head with lawyers, litigation, and the Church's restrictive teaching as bells and whistles. However, Jesus is also walking right along on the other side holding my hand and saying not to worry about the other guy, reminding me that he is just a distraction from the true path to happiness. And when you meet people along your journey who truly care about you and treat you in a way you have not experienced from your spouse in a long, long time, the decision on who to follow is really not that hard. I just hope I can be a good soldier.
One comment on Berto-
Quote: then did what I thought was the RIGHT thing........I set boundaries to how our make up would work. We had to go see a T, everything in writing, etc. I was very demanding and putting up some serious boundaries, all of which failed.
So, she became fearful and then went on a rage and told me to go you know where. Once again, I really goofed on our M.
I've really struggled with these types of issues, but no longer say I "goofed". Rather, I experimented and learned that almost nothing I did worked. After almost two years of this, it's easy to see how the best advice is to simply detach, be nice, and have no expectations--because the WAS is going to do whatever he or she pleases--and some of them are NEVER going to respond positively until THEY decide they want to. All we can do is accelerate or delay their final decisions--and it's truly impossible to know how they'll react until we try soemthing. That's the very essence of SBT--stop doing what doesn't work, keep trying something new, AND TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF.
)! However, I don't think she has actually received it yet, because it is not exactly a love letter--and she can't go more than 24 hours without responding to anything I present--even if it's positive!
