Just got official word from my L this afternoon via e-mail that W has filed. I have not seen the complaint and have not discussed it with L, but I have roughly three weeks to respond.
This goes a long way to explaining W's behavior this past week, which while rarely cordial, tends to be explosive when she meets with her L -- followed by a few days of calm.
ADVICE FOR NEWBIES: Keep a journal. One thing that will make this process a little bit easier is that I have been keeping a running computer journal since May 2003. I suspect there is barely an allegation that I can't reference in my journal and offer a different opinion of events. While this often comes down to he says-she says, I certainly won't be struggling to recall events. I should state, however, that your S should never know about a journal. That I keep one and referenced it long before I heard of DBIng is a major and ongoing source of angst for W. But again, this is her choice, not mine.
The funny thing is that I did not start a journal thinking I would ever be in this place and would need it for litigation, but to make sure I wasn't losing my mind when W said things and denied them a few days later. WAS's can be so convincing that I really began to wonder if I was imagining things, so I started writing everything down as it happened just so I could go back for a reality check.
The sheer waste of this stinks, both financial and emotional, but at this time, contesting the D remains the best option of several poor ones.
My new motto is litigate with grace. I just hope she can do the same thing, but I'm not counting on it.
