Merrick - as far as BPD goes - not a temporary condition, I doubt your W has it, but for some reason WASs seem to closely resemble BPD when the aliens are in control.
As for the kids - I think it is okay, when the time comes, to let them know you are not the one that wants a divorce. Believe me, the WAW doesn't seem to have any qualms about putting all the blame on the LBS!!! Some even tell outrageous lies to their kids that really hurt their R with the LBS. Don't worry about protecting your W from their anger - it's just a natural consequernce of her behavior.
