Betsey - I knew you would understand this one - as another eldest child My mum has been great, she has accepted that I need to do things my way. I fear NG's habits are those I have been feeding over almost 20 years - my mistaken definition of love - that I should make life easy for him, regardless of what discomfort it causes me. Don't get me wrong, I care for him enough to want to make his life better, but no more at unacceptable cost to myself
The trick now is to have sufficient self confidence to listen to my heart, and decide what is acceptable to me. Often, I work out a limit, and crumble at the first obstacle. I need more strength to stick with the decisions that I know are right for me.
My mum has been great, she has accepted that I need to do things my way. I fear NG's habits are those I have been feeding over almost 20 years - my mistaken definition of love - that I should make life easy for him, regardless of what discomfort it causes me. Don't get me wrong, I care for him enough to want to make his life better, but no more at unacceptable cost to myself 
