Hey GBO - I think I was looking at NG's actions with rose tinted lenses - alas, developments today suggest it was more like self protection on his part
You may recall some unpleasant phone calls from ow's H about a month ago - well yesterday I discover that NG has made an official ccomplaint and follow-up is underway. This was done after he contacted ow to tell her about the contact and she did not respond at all. Looks like she has washed her hands off NG completely, but NG seems to have difficulty staying away - he showed me his email to her, and boy was it an emotional tirade, not at all focused on the issue of her h calling, but going into choices she has made in life etc. Quite gut wrenching for me. Ugh.
Today, he has been snappy all day, especially with me, but in general moody. WTF.
Back to the drawing board, was I saying this to Maya just a few hours ago? I've been reading up on Ellie's old threads for inspiration, and found this from Oct 03
Quote: I had posted a nice long philosophical post yesterday about peacefulness, which evaporated along with my thread. But my point was that there were two things that were contributing to my current state of peacefulness, one little and one big. The little thing is that I finally tried that "stop sign" technique - you know, where you imagine a big red stop sign anytime your mind wanders to a bad place, like picturing your H with the OW? I always thought this sounded silly, but man, it works like a charm! Try it.
The second, big thing - I've reached a place where I feel comfortable that I can go on and I can be happy, happier than my H, if he leaves. I'm not expecting him to, but I no longer fear it as I used to. I feel good about my efforts in the relationship and the changes I've made in myself; if he were to still leave now, I would be at peace with the fact that it is about him, not about me.
Yeah, this is where I need to be. I guess I've changed my life, and NG is finally understanding that the doormat wife is no longer there. Some of the tantrums is because I'm being laid back about chores, and he is having to pull his weight.
I cannot discount that the other part may be due to some form of depression. I'm off to get some herbal remedies, it can only help. NG has an allergy to any discussion around mental states, it may be a cold day in hell before he will acknowledge any problem within himself.
