Hi there Slowly,

You're doing great.

You were wise to let the receipts go and focus on what is positive now.

But, I know how very hard that is to do. I found a receipt for a VERY expensive ladies watch H purchased on his credit card,last month, in my H's old papers.From a time when he wouldn't even pay the mortgage!! It was from 2 years ago and I have no idea who it was for. I have not shown him what I found because to do so would be at this point, to him, a lack of trust on my part. It would be like throwing it in his face again and again(there are lots of misdemeanors in our case and we've been going through them one by one as they have surfaced, so at this point he really is not wanting to face any more!) and to bring it up does not bring me or him "closer to our goal."

I know when the time comes I will be shown what it was all about. Maybe even who it was for..but not until God has a reason for me to know.

Until then, It changes NOTHING to show/confront/ask about whatever they did.

Unless and until they are ready to deal with it, leave it lay.

It also is easier said than done! (To just "forget" about it). You'll think you have tucked it away on the back of your cob-webby mind and suddenly, from some trigger, it will come roaring back to vivid 3-d recall and the uncertainty will tear at your again.

You will need to be prepared for this or it will catch you off gaurd and you will not respond in a way in which you would like to.

The bigger challenge will be to remember WHY you wanted/need to forget about it in the first place.

Does knowing bring you closer to your goal?
What do YOU gain by knowing?

You may gain certainty or understanding but at expense of Your H losing his dignity or sense of connectedness to you.

Hope you are having a great week.....
Big Hug!
Trish