Sorry to hear that NG is not feeling well. and also sorry that your plans for a trip will be postponed...(notice that I did not say CANCELLED)
I wanted to chime in about the sharing of the duties and the mystery stuff. I think that you have been doing well to extricate yourself from the expectations or assumptions that YOU have to carry all the buckets. I also think that the two of you have been having a better time of it lately and can enjoy doing these things together more.
I really agree that pullling back and expecting him to ask for the help is tricky when he may not even notice what things need doing. But it sounds like you are creating lists and dividing them...all good. My h was pretty decent about helping when company was coming. HE seems to have forgotten how much he enjoyed entertaining but it was one of the things we did well together and he always said he loved doing.
Now, the mystery thing is important. I do NOT suggest making him jealous or any of that nonsense...but...the GAL stuff, from what I am told (cause I am not reconciled with my H...YET) is just as important once the two of you are back together.
You two spend a lot of time together. H needs to feel some of the lure of unavailability. Ya think? I mean how can he miss you if you never go away? Just gotta keep him wondering a bit...and then always happy that you are walking back through the door.
