Hi slowly-
I have been reading your thread and thought some input from me might help. My H and I seperated, he was in EA and maybe PA before he moved out but defintiely once he moved out in Jan 04. He never really left my life and looking back tells me he never was happy when we seperated but was scared to come back and didnt want to lose me so he somewhat strung me along. After 4-5 months of this and once I worked on me, got my PMA up and told him enough was enough we finally agreed to work on the marriage He ended the A with OW and moved home in July. July through October were very difficult. The first two months there were days I didnt think we would make it. H was clearly still attached emotionally to OW and was struggling with his feelings. The guilt of what he did to me and our marriage and also the guilt he had about leaving her and coming back home. I think he strung her along somewhat too although she clearly knew what she was getting into, or at least she should have. She was in love with my H and was expecting a different turnout. When he came home and through the tough days he kept telling me home is where he wanted to be and he was handling it the best way he knew how. There were many phone calls, conversations etc with OW which I would get upset about. It does get better I promise you that. As time went on we began to feel more natural with each other. Now things are good. We still have a ways to go and there will be some bumps I am sure but I finally beleive that H is clearly where he wants to be. By the way OW and H work together in a small office so the detachment took longer to happen and probably will never happed 100%. But he comes home to me every night and there are definitely no signs of him continuing anything emotionally or pyhsically. I am sure he still cares about her but I believe he looks at her differently now that we are on more solid ground.
Keep your head high and remember that things will get better. It will take time for your H to heal and things to get more natural between the two of you