Good evening, Slowly (now it's morning here ). Four generations of depression sure sounds familiar. I think I am coming to agree with Ellie that the presenting issue with most (not all) WAS's is depression (just as the presenting symptom, often enough, is an affair).
I like the quotation from the Erotic Mind. It makes so much sense that a depressed person would respond to the increased perception of feeling--anxiety, guilt, being turned on the by the "new"--as a relief from the "anhedonia" of lifelong depression. I know for myself that I withdrew from H in order to avoid his irritability and withdrawn behavior himself. So no wonder he "felt" so much with volatile Miss OW-Toad.
I am so glad that your H is going through those cycles of putting the A into more realistic perspective, though, Slowly, however hard and raw that is. I just hope that in that process he comes to take responsibility for his own feelings and finds a better way to address them. If he does that, you will be well on your way.
). Four generations of depression sure sounds familiar. I think I am coming to agree with Ellie that the presenting issue with most (not all) WAS's is depression (just as the presenting symptom, often enough, is an affair). 
from H in order to avoid his irritability and withdrawn behavior himself. So no wonder he "felt" so much with volatile Miss OW-Toad. 
