Hi Pen, Betsey and GBO - Let me tell ya, I'm wallowing in all your wonderful validation - it is so comforting
Well, we have visitors staying with us for a couple of days, NG's family, so everything else is on the back burner. Seems like for him, watching me interact with them, the easy comaraderie, is yet another source of pain, that he risked all of this. He is not giving the impression of someone who is comfortable with life right now.
I honestly think the romantic 'words' will only come after he is done with figuring out what this was all about. He is unable to express regret properly, other than the once 'I don't know where to begin' - because he is still in the fog as to what happened to him. This is a very personal journey, and like much of dbing, the best thing I can do is get on with my life. The last thing he needs is to be further burdened by guilt over me. NG is the thorough engineer, he will flagellate himself until he sees the 'why' - and forgives himself. Till then, I'm just collateral damage, if I let myself be.
Nevertheless, there are many positives. He is much more transparent about his moves. He talks more freely about work and his colleagues. And, guys, he has invited me to go along with him on his next business trip to -SAN FRANCISCO - in mid-January. Now I have to figure out how to clear my diary so I can actually go. Maybe even meet some of you
Lots more thoughts that I need to let settle first. I still have a lot of anxiety, and I need to figure out how to hold on to myself better.
