Hey GBO - Welcome! Quite a quiet thread so far, to be honest I'm enjoying the discussion at your place far more
The cold seems to be under control - lots of Lemsip last night and today, usually does the trick. But, it seems to be a good excuse to take things easy for a while. NG is being verrry tender and caring, so I'm basking in the glow of all the right kind of attention Am not going to push the endearment button just yet.
We are both working from home today. Bliss.
I'm thinking of some karate or judo classes - always wanted to something in self defence - more for the mental discipline. Also, likely to meet interesting people - at least, people from outside my 'normal' circle of acquaintances. Doing some research on classes today. I'm very encouraged by the recent success with skating - we have been putting that skill to good use, getting out to different places.
Gotta run to a concall. Reality of working for a living Slowly
Hi Slowly, I keep forgetting--you limeys don't do Thanksgiving this week, do you? Around here the offices are emptying out as everyone tries to get a jump on holiday travel, the busiest day of the year for that. The roads will be absolutely jammed. I'm glad I just have to walk to my holiday meals tonight and tomorrow.
Martial arts sounds great. Good exercise, good discipline. And kudos on the skating (my D7 loves it)--a score for showing NG you are paying attention to his need for quality time.
Today, NG and I are both working from home, which is always cosy Dinner with friends at a swanky Italian place - I'm looking forward to that enormously.
Quote: Hiya Betsey - You know, looking at your simple script, it does not seem so difficult. I will give it a shot
And no, there is never any risk of being obtuse here - haven't we all had lightbulb moments at such unexpected remarks
Will keep you posted on how we go with the endearments saga...
Slowly
Hi Slowly ... still lagging a few days behind here, but I saw this and wanted to take Bets' comments a little deeper...
I get the impression, if I read you correctly as being more of an analytical mindset and personality (it takes one to know one), that in the past over the years as you've settled in as being married, you have imprinted upon NG that you haven't put alot of emphasis on "romantic" notions. Even tho in many ways you have changed now, he doesn't quite yet know who the new you is. Some of those imprints from years past still have yet to be wiped clean.
What am I getting at, you say? Go ahead and ask for what you want, but also do it in a way that he knows its coming from a new you. Some way in which will grab his attention and shake that imprint of his like an "Etch'n'Sketch" (Toy-like drawing apparatus that looks like a old fashion red TV with two white knobs, one in each lower corner that you shake to clear what you have drawn in its screen). One suggestion I can think of is how about asking for what you want in a poem. To NG wouldn't that seem quite out of character for you? ... and Poetry carries that "romantic" connotation that will help reinforce how important it is to you. You could even title it "Terms of Endearment".
After you draft it, ask him to take a gander and ask what he thinks of it.
Hi Pam, KAW - It was a lovely, relaxing weekend, we had some visitors who kept us busy and kept us generally entertained
KAW - I hear what you are saying about the 'new' Slowly - and will implement something soon, once I'm comfortable NG is out of his fog, or should I say misty edges of the fog?
In a rare moment of sharing, he confessed that until recently he had been holding on to the thought of ex-ow and the a as 'something special' that he will look back on. Turns out that in the past couple of weeks, he has discovered from 'reliable' sources that she had been taking him for a ride, up to the point in the summer when he sent her THAT final email. NG tells me he now sees the a for all its ugliness, is mortified that he could have put me through it, does not think sorry even begins to cover it, what do I want him to do etc etc.
I know this man, and I just need to give him some time to get used to his latest discovery about ow.
BUT, he still does not know why he went down this path, does not think it matters. So my friends, our journey continues. I honestly believe that for NG and I, the why is critical. And for as long as he is afraid of confronting his own demons, I fear he will not be comfortable in any relationship.
It was a good chat, we both got emotional, but we did not flog the subject to death. I guess I need some space too, to process what all this means. Obviously there has been some contact in the past week, but it honestly does not seem like good contact. NG was way too bitter for that.
I'm so glad you all will be back from the holidays today, I really need some input
Quote: NG tells me he now sees the a for all its ugliness, is mortified that he could have put me through it, does not think sorry even begins to cover it, what do I want him to do etc etc.
Wow! What a turn around. That sounds like a big corner turned to me.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Slowly, I am so happy for you. NG seems to know he made a big mistake and it is good you two can talk about things. My XW still avoids me like the plague. If she sees me on the street she runs the other way.
Am not going to push the endearment button just yet. 
Slowly 
don't do Thanksgiving this week, do you? Around here the offices are emptying out as everyone tries to get a jump on holiday travel, the busiest day of the year for that. The roads will be absolutely jammed. I'm glad I just have to walk to my holiday meals tonight and tomorrow.
Dinner with friends at a swanky Italian place - I'm looking forward to that enormously. 
, that in the past over the years as you've settled in as being married, you have imprinted upon NG that you haven't put alot of emphasis on "romantic" notions. Even tho in many ways you have changed now, he doesn't quite yet know who the new you is. Some of those imprints from years past still have yet to be wiped clean.
