This is from a discussion that took place over at Jennifer's - it is an issue that I continue to struggle with, and want to put to rest. In a nutshell, its about style and frequency of communications. Could be during an average work day, or a business trip away from home. I find it frustrating, and yes, hurtful, that NG will not initiate contact. I also feel somewhat confused as when I do contact him, he is keen to stay on the line.
Quote: From Jennifer: have nothing much to update, except that after the initial two phone calls (from airplane seat and then from friend's house when he arrived), I have not talked to S. I admit, I'm disappointed he didn't stay in more contact while away,
Quote: Ellie's response: just a reality check - if my H went out of town and communicated with me that little, I'd be mad. H always calls me every day when he's gone - usually more. THEN Another reality check - my h just called me. He left around 9 last night, took a redeye flight to Florida, worked today, and is flying in tonight. So far, he called me 1) from LAX last night 2) text messaged me when he arrived in Florida this AM (he didn't realize the beeping of the phone would wake me up at 4 am!) 3) called me later this morning 4) called me when he arrived at the airport this afternoon 5) called me just now from the airport in Dallas - and told me he can't wait to see me tonight . Now - I know he's far from the norm - but there ARE guys like him out there.
Quote: From me: I do envy Ellie tho, NG is more like your guy, I'd be lucky to get one call a day, ugh. Though NG likes it when I call. Strange. I only say this because relationships seem to come in all shapes, and I find myself constantly getting unglued over something that is in my head as 'ideal' behaviour, and turns out it does not even register with NG
Quote: I think some of it has to do with the introvert/extrovert thing. Extroverts recharge by being around people and find it draining to be alone; introverts find it draining to be with people and recharge by being alone. When my extrovert H travels, he needs to connect with me. When my introvert self is occupied, it doesn't cross my mind to call him - although I am happy when he calls me. One of the things I've had to learn is to break that pattern and start calling and emailing him during the day (before I didn't want to "bother" him - but guess what? HE likes it.)
So who are you - introvert or extrovert? And who is your spouse?
And perhaps it is as simple as that - we are both introverts - waiting for the other person to reach out
