hehe...but that wont win you any points...felinausa.com has some larger very nice stuff. the same as the petite things just for more endowed women and its very nicely made.
Pity me that the heart is slow to learn
What the swift mind beholds at every turn.
Edna St. Vincent Millay
Hey, that word has the same meaning as despotic. I specially love sesquipedalian.
Regarding my situation, which keeps recidivating, we had a very short discussion in bed last night which was instigated by her weeping while in regarding her thinking that she wasn't doing well in school, "she started college so she can get a profession as a dental hygienist", english being a 2nd language makes it tough for her so naturally I help and end up doing most of her essays and when she took a test prep last night, she didn't do too good, I'm babling again, where was I??? Oh, yes, anyway as we lay in bed I can hear her weeping and I ask why are you crying and she proceeds to tell me it's about school and fear that she is not going to make it, I try to encourage her and after a minute or so I ask her to come over next to me, because I wanted to give her a hug which I thought she needed but her response was most disburting, she tells me to go to sleep, I lost it, told her we are done, we are incompatible, I'll find someone that will make me happy and told her to do the same. Her response was to go ahead. So that's where am at. I don't know what the future brings, but it doesn't look good.
Quote: Why indeed. Why does she allow her fear of abandonment to potentially create abandonment? Why does she create a situation that removes the closeness that is necessary to intimacy? - Why does my H do the same?
Quote: Thanks for the explanation, oh long-winded one.
Sorry for the long-winded answer. I have tried simple answers with you, but they don't seem to 'seep' through. For example, one time long ago and far way, I told you to 'stay out of your wife's shiit.' That didn't seem to resonate with you.
But, long winded or not, Mu seems to have resonated with you, and yes, grasshopper, you get my point. You now see it clearly. Wading into the shiit with her is like you being on the witness stand trying to explain to the lawyer that you've never beaten your wife. The moment you open your mouth, you're done.
In Buddhism, the master never 'teaches,' but the student always learns. This is done through 'pointing.' For example, a master will never explain the concept of gravity to the student until the student notices the leaf falling from the tree, and sees for himself that the leaf will always, eventually, fall to the ground. In this manner, the master merely points to what the student already knows himself but has yet to recognize.
In the case of your wife, if you can stay out of her shiit -- not join in the paradox, wade into the morass with her -- you can help her see what it is she already knows but refuses to acknowledge.
Why she does these things to you is really irrelevent for you right now. It isn't your question to answer, it is hers. As you continue to utter "Mu" to her, and not engage, she will eventually notice and ask why herself. In this way, her revelations will be more meaningful and lasting, and all you have done is stood quietly by, pointing to what she already knows herself, if indeed, she notices you pointing at all.
Mu is the ultimate boundary. And guess what? You get it.
Corri
P.S. I think at one time I encouraged you to study Buddhism. It resonates with you, Hairpup.
Quote: Mu is the ultimate boundary. And guess what? You get it.
Yee haw! Or, would it be more appropriate to say, "while my body is but an empty shell, my soul stands up and utters 'yee haw'"?
And, as for calling you long-winded, you know I was joking. Why then, Master Po, must you squash the grasshopper by saying that the shorter the answer, the less likely it is to get through his thick skull? The student knows this. I bow to your Buddha nature.
Quote: Yee haw! Or, would it be more appropriate to say, "while my body is but an empty shell, my soul stands up and utters 'yee haw'"?
The Crossroads
Why are you unhappy? Because 99.9 percent Of everything you think, And of everything you do, Is for yourself-- And there isn't one.
~ Wei Wu Wei
Quote: And, as for calling you long-winded, you know I was joking.
Of course.
Quote: Why then, Master Po, must you squash the grasshopper by saying that the shorter the answer, the less likely it is to get through his thick skull? The student knows this. I bow to your Buddha nature.
Your first Mu!!! And you "Mu"ed yourself... very astute.
I was reading the heart-wrenching words said to Fatherof3 over on his thread. I was thinking to myself (and saying to him) that it would be the end for my M if my W ever said this to me.
And then I thought, "would she ever actually say this to me?" Or would she just dangle me along, knowing that such a direct and final statement as F0f3's W said would be the end? Instead, she would just continue to avoid me physically, but would point the blame of our lack of intimacy back toward me, or toward man's evil sex drive, or itchiness, or fatigue, or whatever.
So now I have to ask her: "If you ever decided that you no longer wanted to have sex with me, would you actually tell me?"
I assume her answer will be "yes, I'd tell you, and No, I'm not at that point." But I need to ask, and I need to hear her answer. I'm ready to hear the other, dreaded answer that that Fo3 heard . . . and to take action on it if necessary.
Hairdog, thanks for chiming in on my thread, brother. Us Missouri, HD, husbands need to stick together. If for no other reason, than to go out and have some beers and objectify women!
At any rate, I think you are a very patient man to have tolerated a sexless marriage for as long as you have, and I truly hope for your sake, that things improve, however if they do not, and if you ever hear the gut wrenching words I heard yesterday, I hope you have the courage to move on. The very courage I hope I have in me to follow through.
Oh, I forgot you were from Missouri. Hey, it's a long drive, but if you need a place to crash, let me know. I can see it now: H: Hi, Fof3! Fof3: Hi, Hairdog Ms.dog: Hairdog? What's that mean? And who is this? H: Oh, this is my buddy Fof3. Ms.Dog: Fof3? Is that like 7 of 9 from Star Trek? And how did you two meet? H: Uh, [long pause]. Mu. Ms.dog: Mu? H: Yes. Mu. DD3: Mooooo.
Come on over, Fof3. You might want to see if Honeypot wants a ride, too.
