Your wife and mine are very similar on this. They both suffered through dysfunctional familes early in life. Divorced parents, suffering through abandonment, the unability to trust others, since the adults in their lives pretty well failed them. So who wants to want? As the experts say, women that grow up in dysfunctional familes tend to be dysfunctional themselves. I read these experts and it is like they are writing about our wives. It like they can not trust us because they could not trust others early in life. THey LOOK for reasons to justify their position. The fact is that their wants as children were never met, so they learned to KILL those wants to avoid the disappointment. Unfortunately, that means they have hidden away most of their emotions so as to not get them hurt today. In effect, they can not trust because trusting others only HURT them earlier in life. My own wife can also complicate this by throwing on sexual abuse possible as well. Now the real problem: Both of our wives would never admit that they need counselling, but I bet that both of them really do need counselling for their childhood problems. So what to do? I have no freaking idea. But one thing is certain, we must not do anything that might bring up the issue of trust. We have to be squeaky clean with the trust issue to have any hope of bringing down their defenses.
