Quote: Rather, I'm just saying that I don't want to put the lights up at all. She's free to try to persuade me in any way she wants (as if), but I don't want to put the g.d. lights up.
Comments? Questions?
I would keep it straightforward and simple. "I do not want to put up outside lights this year."
I wouldn't give any reasons. You don't have to have any. And any reasons you offer will only be used as a basis for argument. Why open yourself up to that?
When NOP and I entered our crisis zone, his communication with me became very reserved. Not cold and hard. It's a fine line to walk, but what it conveyed was depth, conviction, importance. In your situation, at some point I think that contributing on a daily basis to a sense of "normalcy" may need to end. I'm trying to convey something as nuanced as a "flavor" to interactions. Perhaps NOP can fill in better.
There is a certain weightiness that needs to be achieved. Frankly, there is no place for jokes anymore in your relationship, IMO. Your wife unilaterally makes relationship decisions and that behavior has to stop. And you don't have to continue to bend yourself to accommodate it.
I'm not talking about threats, ultimatums, harshness. I'm talking about carrying within you and giving evidence without of the true seriousness of your situation *every* minute of your interactions with her.
