Great responses here...thanks so much. I could debate with her till the cows came home, e.g.: 1. Given that you believe men and their sex drives are evil, what is your obligation to this marriage you have with a man? Should you get out of it immediately to protect your integrity? 2. Given your belief that multiculturalism and diversity and tolerance are all good things, why are your views, namely, that love and sex are not related and that the male sex drive can be an evil thing, paramount to my views, namely that love and sex can enhance each other in a M, and that my sex drive is not evil? Why is my view unworthy of any concession by you? 3. What if I were to lose my drive to nurture our daughter because I concluded that this drive is evil? It makes us do irrational things like rush into traffic to get them out of harm's way, it makes us spend money on things which do not directly benefit us, it keeps us from sleeping all night when they cry. What if I stopped giving our DD3 any attention? My views are not in the majority, but I can back them up, for the purposes of debating them.
And I could go on.
She is taking refuge in a disembodied intellectualism so as to avoid dealing with the parts of an intimate relationship she finds uncomfortable. But she would never admit to this.
As far as seeking comfort in physical love while all around you is hunger, and poverty, and prejudice, and pollution, etc. There isn't anything wrong with this (unless you become obsessed with it, a la the Nops ). Why would you choose to wallow in the injustices of the world all day every day, when you can take a few moments of a day and lose yourself in the embrace of your lover? What about that is irrational? I'd say it's more irrational to believe that your constant wallowing is going to make the world a better place if you don't also take care of yourself.
I don't know if Corri is reading, but I wanted to mention the book she recommended to me, "Boundaries in Marriage." It talks about letting an "intruder" come between you as a couple. This intruder can be the obvious, another lover, but it can also be workaholism, alcoholism, and even something like a child, e.g. giving all of your attention to your children and saving nothing for your mate. My W has apparently decided to invite this philosophy of hers as an intruder into our marriage. The purpose, whether it is that she actually believes it or whether it's just a smokescreen (or both), is ultimately unimportant. The intruder must go.
). Why would you choose to wallow in the injustices of the world all day every day, when you can take a few moments of a day and lose yourself in the embrace of your lover? What about that is irrational? I'd say it's more irrational to believe that your constant wallowing is going to make the world a better place if you don't also take care of yourself.
