God, I feel for you, dude. It is one thing for a LD spouse to open up and say "this is how I feel"; it's quite another (and more devastating to hear) "this is how I feel, and I know how YOU feel about it and how important it is to you, and yet I choose to not only DO nothing about it, but I don't even want to talk about it with you -- even though I brought it up."
I think her problem is more with her beliefs about feminism and how they relate to the marital relationship, than they are about SEX. As much as you tried, you need to keep on telling her "I agree, a lot of people can be that way -- and that's a shame. But that's not how I feel."
In other words, as someone else suggested, agree that "society may sh!t on women sometimes, but I would never do that to you."
