ok well I emailed H a list of what I expect from a husband. Not what he is doing wrong just what I expect. Then I explained each thing and what it means to me. For example one of them was SUPPORT US: to me this means you don't involve yourself in things that are bad for our marriage or hang out with people who would be a bad influence and do not respect our marriage. So the list was pretty long. He did not email me back so I called just to make sure he got the email because my computer has been messing up lately. He said he had gotten it and I said ok. Then we talked for a little while. We talked about him maybe coming home from Korea and how we could go about doing that since none of us are doing well apart. He said he didn't want to leave Korea before his year is up because he would feel like a failure and couldn't be strong enough to hack it over there. I told him that the choice was his and we, his family, would line up behind his decision. So he said he would sleep on it and get back to me tomorrow moring my time. He said he promises he will contact me after thinking about it. We laughed because one of my things on my list was KEEP YOUR WORD. which in the past he doesn't keep his word much. But we laughed about it and I have complete faith he will contact me with it when he says he will. Things looking up a bit. On the other hand he is still eating out spending money we don't have. Our bank account is at 0 and our overdraft account on goes to $500 and it is at $413. We will have to pay that back. SO now he is running up the overdraft. I don't have the money to buy our kids christmas this year because of this. My mom says since I have power of attorney I should just open another bank account that is joint and take all his paychecks that are direct deposited and put them in that one and pay the bills and leave him 150 dollars each month to spend since his only expenses are food and cigs. I warned my H that I would do this if one more cent came out of our account because he had already spent what we agreed he would have this month plus $30 more. We live paycheck to paycheck and can't afford much. He told me ok when I warned him and didn't seem mad. Should I do this or just allow us to be run into the ground by his impulsive spending or is there another idea I should try? I was calling him every morning begging him to not spend anymore and he would tell me ok. Then he would spend more. I don't want to fight with him since we are getting along better. what should I do?
