my husband has gone to korea for a year due to work. We just had a baby girl. We just got married in july. I have found out that he was talking to girls online while still at home and has admitted to a lieing problem. He lies about everything. Before he left he promised to go to therapy while in korea but has not done it since being there 3 weeks. I saw he wasn't going to do it so told him not to worry about it and just have fun. I didn't want to be disappointed. Then in anger later told him I told him that so I would not be disappointed. I worry he is cheating on me as he doesn't email or call me. If he does email me it is short. I call him and whenever I do he always says I love you and miss you. I usually call him about money issues because he was spending all of our money over there. He says the reason he was talking online to girls is I was not paying enough attention to him. Now he doesnt give me any attention or effort since being over there. I have been confused as what to do. How do I reel him back in to me? I sent him an email today asking him to send me a list of things he would like to see me change about myself and to please make a seperate list for what he expects from a wife. So I am waiting to see if he will email me back. Also I know he gets online but I never see him online. I only know he gets online because of one of his screen names on a site tells you when the person was last there. I wrote a poem on this site a week ago about how I was feeling and he read it. I didn't think he would. He said he didn't appreciate it very much. so I went back and wrote a good poem about him. I feel I have to nag him all the time to get stuff done or to even talk to me. His other complaint is my accusing him all the time and not trusting him but he has lied to me in the past and betrayed me with those girls online. I dont know wether he has ever cheated on me and I spend all my time trying to think of ways to pull that info out of him. I am a stay at home mom and he thinks of my 8yr old son as his. but doesn't call or email him. Again I have to call him for that.well here is the poem he did not appreciate
Do you see me? Do you even care? can you hear me or just pretend to be there/
No response is all I get Give and give for what we meant. I just sit here with nothing left.
I want to scream and cast you out You have no clue what I"m about.
So go and stay away I can't let you destroy me this way.
How can you be mad at me? What do you want from me?
Irrational and irresponsible, selfish and mean I guess what I saw was just a dream
Giving up is not my style so I would sit and stay awhile
You see what you see You offer yourself up but not for me
I pay a price to be with you I gave up everything for something new!!
With everyone else You offer yourself
Who the hell do you think you are? You were supposed to be my shining star
I will beg and beg and plead and be as perfect as you please
Give you a chance for one more start One more chance if I have a heart
Worry and tremble is all I do All of my agony because of you
Our family you left behind I have to keep my own peace of mind
All those rumors come around I have to hear all the sounds
It's not fair what I have to do You need to keep up and you need to choose
Build our trust and faith the same It's your fault so take the blame
Empty promises and lies for me Is that all you offer to be?
No more lies stop trying to hide
One more chance is all you get I've been saying this since the day we met
Think of me for once and what I am Give me all of you and not some scam
Who am I? I am your wife? Damnit it to hell you are my life!
You don't seem to understand and this is my very last stand
Do you see this? Do you even care? Can you hear me and even be there?
and here is the one I wrote to make up for it but got no comment from him on it.
He is everything anything I can't be without and I want to show him what it's all about Give him everything anything just for him to see He is my everything anything I can't believe Just how much he loves me
He is all the things I need him to be Without him I wouldn't survive in my sea He's all I ever wanted needed craved in me and I just can't believe just how much he loves me
Please god don't take his love from me because without him I am nothing less than anything in a crowd Oh why oh why did I scream so loud I must have been out of my mind in the clouds I would give all of me just to see why he loves me The one thing I want him to see I'll do anything above the things he does for me me. Just so he can see how I love him and I know it's got to be all he ever wanted
and here is the description I wrote of the poem
This poem is about how I feel about my husband right now and I wrote it to show him what I think of him when he isn't looking. Most of the time in a relationship you might not hear the true 95% of the time emotions. Insecurities and fears are what tend to get in the way.
I feel like he is moving further and further away. I will let you know how he responds to my email about the lists. I feel after that I should not bring up relationship talk anymore because I will have the list to refer to and try to stick to the list.
