You know, my H separates romantic love and sexual love too. In fact, I would bet that he doesn't think of sexual love as even being something real! Sexual thoughts are processed, for him, as urges and the like. He thinks it has the potential to be something noble if you're doing it with your spouse, but even then I think that he has a set of 'rules' about what is acceptable or unacceptable within that parameter.
I too get the romantic declarations of love and, Karen, I want that to be enough. I wish that I didn't toss aside his genuine efforts and say, Is that all there is?
I don't intend to do that, of course, but I can certainly see how it could look like that to him. I hate that! I wish I could accept his efforts and that it would be enough. It would most definitely be enough for a lot of ladies out there.
But the day I start accepting romantic love only is the day that my own love for him will start to die out. I simply can't see myself ever staying in love with someone with whom I could not share a sexual relationship with.
Is there any way you can fight fire with fire? That is, if he gave you a beautiful card to show how much he loves and misses you, could you leave him a voicemail and tell him how much you want to ML when he gets home?
As far as anticipating the next drought...remember that if you get down in thinking about the drought, he will perceive that and there will definitely BE a drought. Kwim?
I know exactly where you're at. You want him to come home from his trip and initiate and be enthusiastic. YOu don't want to have to take another risk in initiating only to be met with ambivalence.
I have the best hopes for you and perhaps you extending the first sexy branch would put his mind in a sexy place? I know with Mr. Honeypot that he does not think sexy thoughts unless I put em in his head.
Good luck to you and enjoy that card. It sounds lovely and you are very lucky to have a man who loves you like that!
