HP: I initiated and he accepted with some minor grumbling about being tired but we did ML. I would give it a B plus. Good but nothing sensational.
The negative emotions are coming from (a)anticipating the next drought and (b)wondering if he was appeasing me and (c)still hoping for more passion/experimentation etc... Even as I am writing this I just received and "I love you" card from H which he apparently mailed just before his business trip. Sometimes I think he wants to love me like a best friend. Or maybe, he is just sooo inexperienced with long term sexual relationships that he doesn't know what to do. Either way I just get very down about it sometimes.
I am excellent at acting "as if." I have to try to figure out what I usually do and what would break the pattern.
