Guess what. My intuition was right on the money. Sure enough - H initiated the other night but Aunt Flo was in town with a vengeance so I provided some of what I myself would like on occasion - a little OS. He was VERY interested and responsive. He was VERY huggy and lovey afterward - it was as if I had thrown a drowing man a life raft. Anyone think that this whole thing is about performance anxiety? A couple of nights later I initiated and things were fine. A little awkward though. Then as per our usual cycle - a couple of days went by with nothing then H went away on business.
I went to my appointment with the C and she agreed with me that those developments don't mean squat - they simply herald the next no sex cycle. She said that she didn't learn too much during their meeting other than that H is "worried I might leave him" (I have never said any such thing). I told her that if he was worried about that then he always had the option of providing some of what I think is lacking even if he has a million reasons against it. I asked her what was preventing him from that - she felt that perhaps to do so would bring down the wall he has built around some issue or emotion that keeps him from wanting to be "too close." We will confront him with that next Monday. Every time I go to the C I feel worse about the issue.
H will be back from business tonight. I am feeling odd so I think I had best make myself a little scarce or I am liable to cry, blow up or something that isn't helpful.
