It occurred to me that after six weeks of no sex (and six weeks before that and multiple "talks") it is difficult for either of us to figure out how to approach. He is coming from the place of failure and I am coming from the place of protecting my own ego. So... last night when the kids went to bed I gave H a foot massage with the peppermint foot lotion (he loves those) AND just before I went to bed (before him - he was waiting up for the teens to get home)I straddled his lap and gave him several of the "passionate pecks" in a row. It warmed him up enough to say, "you'd better stop before the kids walk in on us naked on this couch."
I think that I will keep up the mini-seductions with no pressure and no initiation for a bit. After thinking hard about Schnarch and this other men's psychology book "If Men Could Talk" and give the context of H's email about feeling like a failure I decided that being too pushy might be a little emasculating at this time. I am going to work on being very touch feely but backing off and giving him room to respond of his own accord (I think Schnarch refers to this as finding his phallicness). I need to write some specific goals around this. Any thoughts men? Ladies?
