Liese - I am sorry that you and your H are going through such a painful issue. I am also sorry that my H is feeling so much like a failure. My H is a very generous man and I keep wondering what is keeping the generous part in him from reaching out. Is it so hard to say - "I'm not interested in sex right now because I feel bad about work but I would love to rub your back, cuddle and kiss, bring you to O etc.... My H is so "well defended" emotionally right now that I'm not sure anymore if he is denying me or denying himself. Liese - what would your H say about that? What would he say about a hypothetical situation about another couple - you can describe my stich or one where the W has the problem and see what he says.
