Karen as usual I could have written every word of all your posts (minus the baby part ). I think my bf could have written the "self-loathing" email, too. His life is in crisis at the moment, still being out of work, and a bunch of other stuff, but also when you look at the two previous important women in his life, namely, his mom and his ex-- both of them sang the song "You're not good enough and what you do isn't good enough." Even if he were a wealthy successful career person, chances are he'd still feel he wasn't good enough.

He's an acts of service guy, and I agree with you and HP that the book is no panacea, it did give me some helpful insights, like on Valentines Day when I came in and he was cooking dinner, and I felt uneasy that he was going to such a fuss and he really got his feelings hurt. Then I realized that his way of showing he cared was by DOING for me. I really appreciate that. Plus, since my thing is gifts, he's become a pretty good gift-buyer. :-)

Don't ever apologize for long posts... we love 'em around here...