I agree - I don't care about making H HD - I just care that the sexual environment is freely loving and giving and that he cares about it too. Maybe he is fundamentally LD - which is ok as long as my desires are important too.
As far as the MB - it pisses me off and I have been clear that it does. How often I'm not sure but I'm really thinking that it occurs about once/week when he is relaxed, open, working alone in his home office with no kids around etc... In other words...if I were there at that time he might actually come looking for me instead but I think MB offers an anxiety free way to take care of those pesky sexual feelings and move on to something else -like work or kids or other .... (This is the Catholic guilt thing - "I shouldn't be sitting here lusting, I should be doing something productive."
As far as my initiating...I have become uncomfortable with it because I am uncomfortable being with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I'm sure he would say that he doesn't feel that way but his choices say otherwise.
I think the book mentioned is called "The Great American Sex Diet" - I have it but haven't brought it up with H yet.
BTW - I don't think Catholicism is the issue but I think it does complicate some things. He actually thinks the church is rather hypocritical in the sexuality category and thinks the MB thing, the gay thing and several other issues are just plain ridiculous.
We have counseling tomorrow. I am trying to figure out what I need to plainly and directly ask and/or say. We both have Masters Degrees in Psychology so we are endlessly polite and careful with our language ("I" messages blah, blah). Sometimes it is better to be more direct - we get farther.
Karen
PS Any of you HD Catholics have a suggestion here?
