Hi Karen, Yep we do have similar situations, don't we?!
I don't have much time, baby is hungry, but I wanted to respond to the whole Squash thing.
Here is my take on it: I thought for a long time that my H's sexuality had been squashed and could therefore be un-squashed. I no longer think that.
I think that his libido has always been on the lower side and this ALLOWED him to focus on other things. To put other things first, all the while congratulating himself that he was strong and "above" such base desires. Like your H, he did not last in the seminary because he liked girls LOL, and yet I was his first girlfriend at 27. The fact that he was able to squash his normal sexual desires was a sign of his true libido, kwim? Without his body driving him on relentlessly (which is how I feel most days), he is easily able to ignore his sexuality.
I need to read your thread again in order to have some real advice for you; this was just what stuck out at first. I think that it is too easy to go looking for "reasons" for a low libido and then get caught up in a Fixit Mode. Most of the time (and again this is my opinion) I believe it is just the way the person is. Not that they can't change and become better people, but just that they will not turn into an HD person. Or revert. Or become unsquashed. They are what they are and THAT'S why their life circumstances have ended up that way, not the other way around.
I don't know if this is making a lick of sense so I will close with a question:
Why do you feel uncomfortable initiating? Has he told you not to, or does he reject you when you do?
Personally I do not like to initiate but it does work, so I do it.
