I have been lurking for a few weeks. Here is my sitch:

Married 1.5years (Divorced from 12 year marriage where I was the LD)

H is 39, I am 37. We have a 6month old baby girl. I also have S13, D7 and we have foster kids 21 and 17. H is lifetime Catholic (I converted). He has dated very little and had little sexual experience. He is a wonderful husband and Dad. We don't argue or have many serious marital issues - EXCEPT SEX! I am nursing D6mos but amazingly have much higher desire.

Here is the cycle: We ML then one week goes by and I start looking for him to initiate (I usually do), two weeks goes by and I get depressed, three weeks goes by and I get frustrated antsy and angry and at the four to six week mark we have "the talk." We have had it multiple times. He always says that he loves me, says that he desires me... But...NO ACTION. He kisses me every day (pecks) and occasionally grabs my rear but that is IT. HE says he "passionately" loves me but the issues is business downturns, sleep, kids ..... During ML -he is only comfortable with one position (me on top), kisses only afterwards and very little foreplay. I am bored with this but would be glad to get even that once/week. I would be in heaven if there were small passionate displays every other day or so and sex two times/week.

Currently, we are seeing a C (she privately says that she thinks he has issues with women in general) - have been to 3 sessions but have not seen any changes. I have "backed off" totally because I have already stated my case "I want more sex and more displays of desire" and I don't want to violate my own integrity by asking for sex (although he would probably comply in a lackluster way). Honeypot's sitch looks a lot like mine. Like her H, mine puts out a lot of "don't touch me" signals when he isn't up to intimacy - sexual or otherwise.

Help!!

Karen

My current questions:
- Do I initiate touching in lightly sexual ways anyway - a little fondle here and there?
- Do I outright initiate?
- What is the 180 of this - it has been so back and forth.