That was inspirational. Thanks for the advice. I think one of the most difficult tasks in all this is how to put on the "show" of acting as if, when I really feel like you know what. I did a lot of blaming and went so far as to tell my H at some point that I don't need him. That is one of the worst things you can say to your S. Everyone is needed and I blame myself for a lot of what happened to us even though I know it was him too. I'm not sure what my H had to this day. He definitely had an EA and it looks like you had the same reaction from your H that I did. My H, after I caught him embraced with the OW, (did I mention it was our 21 year old Nanny...read my thread in the newcomers forum, "Hope Comes & Goes", I am 36), he proceeded to tell me that everything that I saw was completely innocent and that they became friends and talked. Then the cell phone bill came. My trust isn't really there but I have stopped interrogating him face to face. I do believe she is gone and that he is trying. I just don't know how much he was into her and how long, if and when, until he forgets or stops wanting her. I think I will try what you do and tell myself to "STOP" out loud. Again, it's a matter of self discipline. My biggest problem is we do not talk at all about what happened or our feelings. I know this is a big no no and that I am supposed to keep the conversation light and happy, like we used to before all this ugly stuff came between us. Keep the advice flowing, your posts are comforting! Thanks
and that they became friends and talked. Then the cell phone bill came. My trust isn't really there but I have stopped interrogating him face to face. I do believe she is gone and that he is trying. I just don't know how much he was into her and how long, if and when, until he forgets or stops wanting her. I think I will try what you do and tell myself to "STOP" out loud. Again, it's a matter of self discipline. My biggest problem is we do not talk at all about what happened or our feelings. I know this is a big no no and that I am supposed to keep the conversation light and happy, like we used to before all this ugly stuff came between us. Keep the advice flowing, your posts are comforting! Thanks
