Yes and thanks, I know I need to do this and it's a matter of self discipline. Since this summer, my guard is up. It's kind of self preservation because I do not want to go to the place that I was this summer. I was always a confident, eager, full of life individual until this all happened. My self-esteem went right out the window and I sank into a deep depression. I began doing things for myself. In September I went to a SPA for an entire afternoon and got the works. It was amazing! I have since been going back for facials once every 4-6 weeks. I here what you are saying about the flowers. I am slowly doing this, I also know this whole process is pretty slow and that patience is a virtue. I am slowly learning not to react to my H when he is pissy or says something I don't like. This was a hard task for me to accomplish but I am so very proud when I walk away from a would be argument. In the past, I always had to have the last word. As for me being happy, that is a challenge. I need to learn to accept the good things in my life and be grateful and happy. I was a very career oriented person when my H first met me and I could tell he was impressed by this. We were in our early 20's and I had good job, decent place to live, and a new car. He was just getting his act together. It slowly became a competition and sometimes I think it was too much for him. I always made more money until recently and I think this bothered him all these years. It wasn't until we had kids that my priorities changed and a career became hard to manage, along with school. I finally became burnt out. Then this summer was the last straw and I think I had a mild breakdown. I am also full of energy so I am always the one to say lets go here, lets go there and all he wants to do is stay home. We let each other down and I realize now that it's both of us that need to work on it if we want to stay together. He's beginning to come around and we are getting to be friends again. I just need to learn to cool my jets when things don't happen as I had hoped. Thanks again for the advice.
