Dear Baaabs68, There could be a lot of reason your H is resisting a trip away. Maybe he knows how much you think it will help your R and he's resisting b/c he thinks it'll be a lot of work (relationship work, like talking about feelings). My idea is to stop asking him and telling him why you want to go. It's part of the theory of stop doing the same thing. First you could plan a trip on your own, something that you want to do for yourself, he'll get the idea that it's what you want and although he's invited your ok to do it on your own. The other is to plan something fun with another trusted couple who you both enjoy being around. You want a romantic getaway to make everything better, sometimes it comes in steps. For me, I wanted to go away with my H in Sep, he wouldn't commit. So I planned the same thing with my sister for a weekend I knew he was busy and didn't tell him about it. He found out when my sister wanted to change weekends, and then her H said he'd like to go if we sceduled it for him. The next day my H said if I plan it for Dec11 he'd go. I was really surprised. I admit I felt a little sad knowing that he was motivated by the other people, but the plans include me too. Maybe it's his safety zone. My expectations are to have a good time with family, I want him, and myself, to remember we can do that. So sometimes things can work out. You talk about the wedding you went to and it was going well until your insecurities got the best of you. Don't get me wrong you have every right to be insecure, it just doesn't bring out the feelings in H that your striving for. You said you are trying to make him happy but your not happy yourself. Focus on making yourself happy. You may just get that reaction from H your looking for at the same time feel better about yourself. Truly, Jennifer
