I have been AWOL from the boards for quite some time now; imagine my surprise when I popped in for a visit and found myself on the Will's MIA list. I guess it has been awhile.
It has been so long since I have posted that I am sure most of you do not know me and the links to my old threads with all my history have disappeared.
In a nutshell I am a wanna-be-WAW who's trying to fight the urge and hold my family together. It's been one long roller coaster ride.
I have lost touch with a great many of the friends that I made here. I have really missed you all and I hope you are all doing well.
I have been a bad girl and very remiss on keeping up with friends like I should have. For those friends who have stuck by me and supported me in spite of myself......... I thank you all of from the bottom of my heart. You are a great bunch of friends; the best!
I will not even attempt to catch up on all the time I've been away in one post. I will spare you the pain.
When I started on the board I was busy struggling with M issues, trying to be a good parent and deal with a high stress job at the same time. Life was very rough and the stress was horrible.
About 3 years ago the stress began to build to an all time high. In addition to my normal job duties I found my self in charge of helping design, secure loans, deal with the construction of a large new facility and the set up of new services for the new site. I was putting in 55-60 hrs a week (on a good week) in addition to my job as wife and mother. Then to make life even more fun.......... my family and I ended up making a personal move to a new house about the same time I was coordinating the move of an entire business. I think at that point I was beyond stress. I came home tired and mentally exhausted. I didn't sleep well for several years running; my mind was always processing work and what I needed to accomplish the next day. I used what reserve of energy I had to be a mother and being a W and a good DBer was put on the back burner.
They say hindsight is 20/20 and they are right. I'm not taking all the blame for the M problems but I can definitely see where I was contributing and certainly not helping the problem. Did I really say that? Ssshhhhh
The stress began to build at work and the meetings kept getting later and later at night. I was having trouble even trying to be a mom who was there for her kids. Ouch! That hurt deeply........and didn't help the sleep problems either. I had moved and didn't feel like I could even take time off to unpack those damn boxes! When they say stress can kill; believe them. I was heading for some major health issues (again hindsight) but I was too blind to see it at the time. H did try to make this point but I just took it for sour grapes because I wasn't spending enough time with him. I know this was bad; don't remind me.
Things bumped along until one night a few months ago. It was another of one of those long late night meetings. The now senior (good senior retired) partner was/is an idiot (won't go into that story) and things were spiraling out of control. I was tired of trying to get this man to have some business sense about him. I was so very tired.............. and realized that I just couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't watch this man run all my hard work down the toilet. Several days later we are to have another late night meeting and I was soooo tired but I did attend the meeting. During the meeting I looked across the table at one of the junior partners and he nodded his head at me. Wow, he could read my mind .......... pity the chief partner was so stupid. While I was reaching into my case he was reaching into his jacket. Almost simultaneously we both laid our resignations on the table at the same time. We both watched the "jerk" sputter and the rest of the partners were speechless. We smiled and both calmly walked out of the room.
I had no idea or concept of the weight I was carrying until the load was off my back. I came home that night and told H what I had done. I didn't get the reaction I expected........ he was tickled to death and excited. I went to bed that night and slept like a baby for the first time in years.
Several weeks later I was getting compliments; I didn't realize I had gotten so worn out and haggard looking. I had became good at ignoring the signs of stress and what it was doing to me and I just kept trying to pushing forward.
Now the real Belle was coming back! I had a blast of a summer. I went on 5 vacations! I'm making up for lost time! Life is not perfect but it is improving. The M still has kinks but some have worked out. There is hope for me yet!
I think I have managed to condense down a few years. I think the rest of the story can wait for another posting. Yes, I may actually post again! If you made it this far........thanks.
