NOP,
Thank you for your thoughts. I have indeed communicated this thought to him. I try to do a good job of sharing my thoughts but I know that I tend to overwhelm him. I know that I need to be wanted, much in the same way that my kids need me to want THEM.

D5 will often come to me and stand next to me. She needs a hug but is getting to the age where she doesn't want to ask for it or climb into my lap. I know exactly what she wants and I can only think of a few instances in which I would deny her this, such as: I'm going to the bathroom, lol, or I have a pan of boiling water in my hands and am trying to dump it in colander, or things of that nature. Otherwise, she gets it and she gets it with an open and generous heart. H would never see her standing there and ignore her.

I think, though, that his perception is that I am like D5, only she is standing there ALL THE TIME wanting a hug. He (and frankly me too) would be exasperated by that and want to tell her to go away.

The truth is that I don't want a hug all the time, but I do want it much more than what he feels comfortable giving.

My question about why I want him to want me had to do with my own self and thoughts like: Do I want him to want me to prop up my own esteem? (I don't think so) Do I need him to want me to take away feelings of physical buildup? Yeah you betcha. Do I want him to want me just because, dammit, he should? ( sheepishly admitting Yes)
Etc.
That's why I was really trying to search deep within myself to make sure that my motives in pushing for his desire were 'pure' or legitimate and not wanting him to provide something that is lacking in myself. Hope that makes sense.

As far as his needs go, yes he sees me making efforts and is pleased as punch. He says that there are no areas in which he wants me to try harder. I mentioned the exercise the other day, but as I said that appeals to him in a "I want to teach you to exercise and then I want to back off and you do it by yourself". Believe me, if there were an avenue to pursue...a way to change, I would be pursuing it. I have my list of goals and I do LOOK at them everyday, lol, even if I fail to accomplish them.

The funny thing is that 3 out of the 6 goals have to do with physical affection. He is a physical person and wants affection, nonsexual, and this primes him towards feeling sexual towards me.

Ok, enough from me. Gotta clean the house and the kids. What a herculean task.