What he REALLY wants is not "just intercourse", or just anything he can think of.
What he really wants to say is "ALL THIS SEX PERFORMANCE CRAP IS MAKING ME NUTS". Most importantly, he doesn't understand why he is not 'good enough'.
You ladies with the lower drive husbands have a tough line to walk. How far do you push before hubby's wood whittles. You get into the whole self esteem issue.
One of the first things MrsNOP and I had to work out was how she had felt like she was never good enough, in fact never would be good enough in bed for me. Like a lot of high drive people, gasping for sexual/emotional air, I was grabbing for anything to hold on to.
Speaking here of early recovery, her interpretation of my grasping was to withdraw in order to protect her esteem. The real fact was that I was desperate to be 'connected' with her (sexually and emotionally).
She had thought for years that I wanted wild 'monkey' sex. Honestly, I never cared about the performance so much with her as I did care about being wanted. The problem was that it took me years to be able to express that simple truth.
So, HP, let me ask you a simple question. Does your hubby know that you need him to want you, and why you need him to want you?
-NOPkins-
I will ferret out an affair at any opportunity.
-An affair is the embodiment of entitlement, fueled by resentment and lack of respect. -An infidel will remain unreachable so long as their sense of entitlement exceeds their ability to reason.
