NOP How interesting! I just recently discovered this about myself, say, in the last two weeks or so. I don't know why it surprised me, but it did. To find that my sex drive is much less about physical urges and more about the emotion of connecting with him is pretty neat. I mean, I always paid lipservice to that idea but to find my body actually backing it up has surprised even me!
I discovered it as I was trying to process Corri's request that her husband only approach her when he was feeling truly horny. So I started really paying attention to when, specifically, I was horny and what triggered it. Before, I can't say that I really paid attention.
And, yes, even during and especially after any sort of difficult talk, I want him. It triggers something in me..the intimacy created by talking (along with physical proximity) flows into the strongest urge to ML.
Well, NOP, you'll be glad to know that I decided to chill on the whole oral thing. It was a bad day for him, plain and simple. I re-read my postings of today and I thought, Sheesh cut the fella some slack. Not that he handled it well--he didn't. He pulled some bullsh*t passive aggressive stuff with the "I'm going to get a head start on my sleep" comment. He should have had the guts to say that he didn't want to, after all. Yeah, it would have triggered all sorts of Been there, done that feelings in me and I may have picked a fight, but at least he would have been being honest.
I think he is afraid to ever break a 'date' because he knows that I'll flip out. Although sex should be taken seriously, there are times when it needs to take a backseat because of extreme stress, etc. I believe yesterday was one of those days. I wish I had just TOLD him that we were rescheduling instead of leaving it up to him. He prolly thought it was a trick question, lol.
I so wish that he took refuge and comfort in my body when stressed, but ya know what, he doesn't. It is not how his body responds to stress.
Today is a new day and I'm excited for him to come home. Gotta stay positive.
