That's why I did not ask for this in any way at all. He kept talking about it (buncha hot air) and how badly he was wanting to do it and all I said was, Ooh yeah, H! I can't wait. Just let me know when you want to do it and I will make sure I do an extra good shave job.
On Monday night, he said "tomorrow is the night". I said Alrighta! and that's how it happened.
As far as him not making the connection, heck no. He never makes the proper connections! If I had to guess I would say that he is thinking this morning that I was upset cause I really wanted an oral orgasm as opposed to the other. ??
Making a promise and breaking it...choosing sleep for the gazillionth time...acting unenthuasiastic about an activity that HE loves and that HE planned and just happens to involve MY body....a long absence and a DUD of a reunion (actually a nonexistent reunion, as it never happened).... see, none of these things would occur to him as reasons why I got upset. And if I pointed it out to him, he'd have this lightbulb moment but it does not mean that it would affect how he'd act in the future. The next time, he will choose the same thing and will act equally surprised at the outcome and will have a nearly identical lightbulb moment. I am getting so tired of this game!
Oh well, at least I did not get my hopes up too much. They were very very low, based on his past performance.
P.S. In response to your "is it performance anxiety" query on your thread, I'm sure it is..don't you think? He knows he is not satisfying you, nor making you happy. So his thoughts during sex must be laden with how crappy he is doing and why doesn't he want to do this more often, etc.
My H has actually said many times while ML "I don't know why I don't want to do this more often." Another thing he does occasionally is to repeat over and over while ML "I don't deserve you." I hate this! First of all, it is ludicrous. Secondly I hate that he would feel inadequate--or that I contribute to him feeling that way--and it ruins the moment.
Finally, H has said many times that he wants sex but will go to sleep anyway because he perceives me as wanting the full enchilada, every time. He does not, as of yet, have the ability to just say that he wants a quickie. He feels that this will somehow disappoint me or make me think less of him. Now, I certainly do NOT want quickies for the rest of my life, but I have no problem with them either. So he has erroneous ideas about what I want, but I have told him otherwise and I aint gonna keep repeating it for the rest of my life. If he wants to hold on to that thought--for whatever reason--then he can. I'm done with trying to convince him that I'm not really THAT demanding.
Since we've had the baby, he has gotten more comfortable with initiating quicky-type sex, but he still can't SAY that's what he wants. He just goes for the quickie and hopes that I am okay with that. Which I usually am, but I'd sure like to be in on his intentions so I have the option of knowing what I am agreeing to when I open my legs.
