(((HP))) I'm reading but not commenting because I find the whole story interesting & depressing. I know that there's nothing you can do besides talking to your H and letting him know who you are, how you feel, etc. I can identify with your worries/problems/issues because I face a lot of the same ones.
My W is one of those women that you mentioned (sink their entire lives into the kids), so there's nothing left at the end of the day for me... me, who could have sex every day, like you. How do I change this? I'm at a loss.