Quote: It would work about 2/3 of the time. Many on this board might say to go for it and shut the hell up.
I wouldn't be one of those. Sometimes I just want to gather the whole bunch of you up for a group hug. Non-sexual, of course.
When I first started reading here of folks who wanted their spouses to desire them, being of the LD persuasion, I was trying to figure out just how that would manifest itself. I confess to thinking something along the lines of "Nips erect, eyes glinting, loins burning, must locate spouse and express love & desire." (Okay, I know it's a bit extreme, but what do I know? and besides I left out the word turgid.)
But, as I continued to read, what I find is that you HDs aren't so different from me after all. You want to be important to your someone. You want that specific someone to look at you, actually see you, love you and *express* that love to you in a personal way that is meaningful to you.
And it hurts like h*ll when you've made requests, suggestions, lists, examples, bought books, worked on yourself, cried, cussed, whined, begged, and discussed ad nauseam only to find yourself once again standing in the middle of your relationship with an empty bowl in your hands.
You're right, HP. Hubby has to come through at some time, from his *own* motivation, from his *own* heart toward you without you having to always prime the pump.
I still don't get strong sexual desires, but that doesn't keep me from "chasing" NOP, from hugging him, touching him, groping him, snuggling him. Because he is important to me, his desires and needs are important to me. Right now, this day, this hour.
I think you're important to Mr. HP, but he finds it easy to not give importance to you right now, this day. And in giving into the easier way for the short term with nebulous ideas that once the kids are grown things will be different or once the career is FITB, he is unknowingly erecting a structure. Because what we chose today is building our tomorrow.
