My H wants me to come on to him to turn him on and then we will ML. He does not recognize my more subtle efforts, and requires it to be very blunt and obvious. For instance last weekend, my back was hurting. (it has hurt since the birth of my 6 wk old daughter) So I stretched out on top of our cushioned ottoman, with my stomach lying flat, and knees on the floor. I had on a short robe with nothing underneath. I invited him to come and sit directly behind me to tend to the baby, and I could relax. We watched tv like this for a while and then went to bed. While I didn't do it solely to turn him on or seduce him, I did have it somewhat in mind, sortof a kill two birds with one stone maneuver.. It did nothing for him and he didn't even notice. Oh well, I thought. We went to bed and I tried again. Still, nothing. It seems that he doesn't see me as a sexual creature unless he is already thinking about sex, all on his own.
Seduction, to him, is a blatant thing. That doesn't really appeal to me.
Here's why: The fact that I have to be so obvious turns me off. I start to think bad thoughts about him (I won't elaborate but they are not flattering to H) and I don't want to do that.
It would work about 2/3 of the time. Many on this board might say to go for it and shut the hell up. But it would be at a high cost because I'd totally lose respect for my husband.
He must step up to the plate. I will meet him halfway but I'm not going to give him a free ride for the rest of his life. I'm tired of hauling us both along the Sex Highway. He was willing to do a little work on himself the last couple weeks, so I know he is capable of it.
Also, I feel badly that I am so punishing. Here he was making some strides and backslid a ways and I am at the point that I cannot stop having escape fantasies. What's up with that? Why can't I just remind him to get back on track and go on with life? He would have gladly gotten back on track.
I guess I have just been here too many times. He has made tiny strides, I'm happy, he backslides as soon as I appear content with our sex life and then we are back at square one. How many times do we have to repeat this ridiculous cycle?
Do I have to be a bitch forever in order to keep him 'in line'?
