honeypot, Reading your posts feels just like reading my own feelings. I too get little or no affection or admiration. A lot of the time I get treated with derision by W who is far too serious and stuffy for my light hearted ways. I don't really feel loved and yet I give out so much. I think that your H and my W suffer from the same condition. They are just not loving people. I (like you) have love coursing through me at all times. Even if I wanted to be free of it I couldn't stop it. W has momentary instances of it such as when she is interacting with one of the children but for the most part her mind if full of worry and strife. It's just the way she is and I suspect so is your hub. I have an idea for you. It is not easy and you have to try it for a longish time to get noticed but I have had some success with it. Your behaviour seems to me to be just a little bit too desperate and needy. What if you were to back off a little to perhaps only make suggestions twice a week. Withhold some of your affection - especially things that don't add "value". What I mean is, when you feel an urge coming on to do something for him, hold back and think "Will this add value". Don't give him that impromptu cuddle or ILY that he doesn't deserve. Don't give him the paper and suggest he puts his feet up. Don't make him a coffee. Realize that what is making you do these things is the love inside you - not the love coming from him to you. Although you imagine that he will be happy to get more "space" in fact we are all creatures of habit and don't like change. The change in your behaviour will unnerve him slightly and he will probably miss the little things you do for him. Hopefully he may increase the attention he gives you to get some of it back. It does seem to work for me. Finally, use some of your love for YOU because believe me, you are a very lovable and desirable woman. SD xx
