If you get one bad haircut, you don't write off all hairdressers, do you? Or one bad plumber? Or one bad dog groomer?
Over the past 25 or so years, I've been to several therapists. Some were better than others. One I went to every other week for about seven years. I went because I wanted to resolve some life issues and be happier. Therapy isn't like having your house covered with aluminum siding where you do it once and you never have any maintenance.
It's more like playing the piano or gardening, where there's always a certain minimum level of work to be done, interspersed with periods of intense work and relaxed enjoyment of the fruits of your labor.
I think of all the counselors I've been to the one my bf and I are going to now is the most brilliant. She is absolutely clean to work with. She sees into the heart of things and conveys this with minimal comments. She's like sparkling club soda. I never feel her "issues" intruding-- very differentiated and professional. I never feel like I have to take care of her or protect her from my feelings, which can be an obstacle... people desperately want their therapists to like them so they hold back on the stuff they think is too "bad" to report, thus defeating the purpose.
(Sidebar: A girlfriend of mine was having serious trouble in her marriage and she had a brief affair. She never told the therapist about the affair because she was afraid of what the therapist would think of her! To me that's simply not getting your money's worth! That's like going to the doctor for a really bad cough and not telling him that you smoke two packs a day because you don't want to be judged by him! But I (as usual) digress...)
So give another counselor a chance, and if you don't like him/her find another. How long did it take you to find a hairdresser you really liked??
H-O-N-E-E-E-E... come and take back your thread from the pirate-hijackers of the carribbean....
