Thanks for the reply, Annette. I would strongly urge you to go to therapy for yourself. Why wait for him. Even if you go with him the part of it that works is for YOU alone. The therapist doesn't work on the R as much as s/he works on each of you individually in the presence of the other.
You need a place where you can go and let your hair down and feel cared for and nurtured and as if your concerns matter. Don't wait for him. It's not all about him; it's about YOU, too. You know that thing they say on the airplane about putting on your own oxygen mask before you help the person you're with? Well, it's time for you to start breath quality air on your own just for you, whether he comes along or not. As you start feeling better, you may see big changes from that alone.
Another one of my pet metaphors is the logjam... when all the logs are jammed up in a river (don't know if this is true in real life) it can seem like you can see exactly where the logjam is. But in fact, moving just one log way at the other end of the jam, can eventually get all the logs moving. Instead of (or in addition to) applying pressure on the logjam itself (namely hubby), also move some logs that don't seem to be directly involved (namely get into counseling for YOU).
Now returning this thread to the regularly scheduled Honeypot...
