I usually do touch him but he is 'hurrying' things along anyway. Honestly, it is because we are both so tired..he is always focused on his sleep but not to this extent.
The schedule--well, we normally ML 3-4 times per week anyway. It's just that there is never any desire shown...it all ends up feeling like it was an accident. He acts like this: He does not want sex and does not have it in his mind. (this is not me assuming btw, this is what he tells me) Then I get in bed and hang all over him until he's hard. IF he feels it is not too late, then we ML.
I want it all. I know I sound utterly selfish, but I don't want accidental sex for the rest of my life. It has been like this for years, too, so it is not due to having a little baby, though that doesn't make it ANY easier as you can imagine.
I want passion and to be desired and noticed. I can no longer stand the feeling of being invisible to him until he hits the sheets--our bed is the physical reminder of what he is "supposed" to do. Then he starts dreading it. Or, rather, dreading the feeling of being expected to do something. So he lays there and either falls asleep or gets resentful until I come in (4 minutes later, lol) and snuggle up to him. At that point, he will either get aroused and think, What was I dreading? She's great! OR Dammit, I just want to sleep.
All this time there is never, not one iota, of outward sign that he is my lover. There is no fun, no delight taken in the fact that we are husband and wife. It is mostly dread until I turn the tide for him. IF I manage to do that.
