I could have written that post myself on many occasions. In fact, I probably did!
I agree that when you've done all you can do, it's not defeatist or cowardly to say, "That's it! I've done all I can do. I won't pursue this any longer." At that point, one would have to decide if they could remain M under those circumstances.
What I was trying to encourage CeMar in (poorly, it seems) is that is where I was not long ago. But I had "the talk" for the 538-545th time over a few week period and made progress. At least we have scheduled for progress. (I'll have to let you know if it works.)
I am now of the opinion/position that it's either worth fixing or moving on in my life. As I said before, my kids were just an excuse for feeling trapped and not taking action.
So, "Grab your nads" is not a singular experience, but a way of life for those who choose to stay M (IMO). For me, the "ignore this one more time and we're done" talk (and meaning it) was the only thing that made the difference. I came to find out that my W (who I have often portrayed here as the anti-Christ) was a real woman with real feelings who, in spite of her hurt, loves me enough to do me 3 times per week even though she doesn't "think sex" like I do. At this point, she has more feelings of affection for me than I do for her since her's are based in things other than sex and mine are dominated by it, but that will change as I become convinced that the schedule is for real. Perhaps CeMar's sitch is similar.
I think he owes it to his kids to find out. I know I did!
