CE said: There are some of us who don't consider it "cowardly" to refuse to continue to fight about our spouse's lack of effort at the relationship, lack of intimacy and affection, and duty sex out of some combination of obligation or fear that they'll lose us and the security we provide. ------------
Just for the record, what I said was: "Waiting for your W is cowardly and, frankly, doesn't work."
I see a big difference in the two. If CeMar has done everything possible to work his SSM out, then refusing to fight about it any longer is the next logical step to take, whether he stays in his M or not. But, HE said that he knew he could have more sex if he was willing to ask for it. I'm simply encouraging him to ask for it and work from there.
I'm at the same place, finding that it provides me with the satisfaction that, at the very least, I'm doing what I can to make things better. I'm hoping that it makes lasting improvements.
I was wrong for making a general "cowardly" statement. I should better have stated that I realized that it was cowardly in my sitch and the "integrity" I claimed (in putting up with things for the sake of my kids) was just refusing to be a man and fix it. My apologies to all those offended. However, I think even CeMar would agree that what we both were/are doing doesn't work.
