Ahhh ... a quiet night at work. Something of a rarity of late. The position has transformed so dramatically, that is no longer has any of the qualities I used to enjoy about it. After a year, I have finally come to terms that the only way to improve upon my current job is leave my employer of 20 years and pursue the position that I enjoyed for some many years prior to this last one. Scary ... leaving an employment that has provided the bacon for so long, but when I look ahead ... I still have 20 years to go and I have no desire to contunue upon the current path. So, I've started getting my name out there.
... but that's not what you folks what to hear!!!
Despite all the stresses at both her employment and mine, we've been doing great. We've still have had some ups and downs, but the patterns of the past three years have been not just broken but shattered! As is typical for this time of year, CAW started to slip into her depression, but this time she dealt with it differently. She recognized it and looked inward and made the choice of to focus on the positives and our m and our family has certainly benefited from that which in turn created in greater positives. There are still days where she still struggles, but she doesn't withdraw like she use to. Instead she's been seeking the our companionship. That is one of the biggest differences from years past.
At the same time, the stresses of my employment are a constant reminder to me of how lucky I am to have my family life intact and there to support me ... and where I use to take that for granted ...
I now express my appreciation of it to them EVERY day and is definitely a main ingredient to making each day better for all of us!
Speaking of the girls, the little one (D11) is doing great. There definitely has been a positive shift in her attitude in the past six months compared to this time last year. Having the best year in school ever. Change from playing the trumpet to the flute and played a duet in a concert just 4 weeks after changing. Has recently joined the chorus and is nearing completion of her science fair project, which has been keeping all of us busy.
Can one have a MLC at 19? If so, I think D19 is caught in its clutches! Seriously, it looks like she is still very confused as to which direction she wants her life to take. She quit her job. Is taking leave from school and has called off her engagement and wanted to break off the R all together and was looking to move ... perhaps to S.Carolina where her grandparents live. She even started directly her attention to another guy (EA) altho she kept insisting they're just friends. I was quite surprised how expressive CAW was about how appalled she was over the way D19 was "carrying on" with this new guy. It felt pretty reassuring to me to know she felt that way now after pursuing what she called ... a "friendship" for three years.
Step-D23 is still living with us, which is proving to be more of an issue of confrontational avoidance than CAW had expected ... but that is her issue to deal with S-D23 ... altho I'm there to validate her concerns, but I will not play interference again. As a step forward, S-D23 just acquired her own mode of transportation a couple of days ago, so we have now regained our freedom of mobility once again. This was putting a big crimp on CAW's PMA of late.
Thanks for all well wishes about my surgery. It went fine (at least according to the doc!). The only anxious moment I had was when I foolishly said yes when he asked if I wanted to see what it looked like after removed the cancer. It was a huge crater in my left cheek. Now I have this thin scar line run down my cheek, which the doc promises will fade in a year's time, but its far better than the quarter-size discoloration/scar that was there before.
I only thing I miss now, is having some of that "spare" time I had to spend on this bb. I have met a great bunch of folks here and I wish I'm able to stay in touch more ... but I'm hoping I can settle in soon into a fairly calmer phase as I strive to make each day better than the last ... but let me say here and for the record ...
DBing has worked in turning my life around for the better and while I still have a ways to go to have the life I want for myself ... I am far happier now that I have been in a very long, long, long time ... and I want to thank each and everyone of you who have helped me get here. I know I would be where I am now if it weren't for the help of the kind folks here!!!
