I've been in hibernation from the BB but have been thinking about you. Well you're not the only one that has been in hibernation mode. Like the groundhog, I'm only peeking my head up briefly and it may be another six weeks before I get back.
Am I right in thinking there is a new CAW-KAW connection? Yesiree Bridg ... there definitely is!
Last time I checked in on you, you were doing determined distancing -- dropping that rope -- moving on.
Did your actions represent Last Resort Technique? I suppose you can say that ... frankly, I was tired of the hurt I was going thru, so I figured I need the space for myself. She took it as I was turning away.
Did you go dark after you wrote your letter? (Did you ever give her that letter?) The event that made me decide to go dark also made me felt I had to write the letter, but I never it gave it to her. After a few days, I realized I need to write the letter to sort out how I felt and how I felt was strickly about me and has nothing to do with her, so there was no longer a need to give her the letter.
What happened to make CAW want to move home? In classic DB fashion, as she admitted to me afterwards, when she moved out, she couldn't stop thinking about me all day long and she got to missing me ... but when for the first time she felt like she could lose me in her life, it forced her to make a choice and she knew with conviction that choice was to be with me. Then she got scared I wouldn't want her back and that made her even more miserable.
Was it hard to let her? Well, Bridget, after three years of her going around in circles, its was tough to believe there is strength in her conviction, but in knowing my goal is to live a happy life with this woman, than I had to take a leap of faith on trusting in the sincerity of the feelings and thoughts she expressed.
Did you lay down conditions? Well I didn't climb a mountain to write ten commandments in stone for her, but I did make sure she perfectly understood that I will never tolerate again what I had gone through for the past three years ... specifically the EA/PA. The only ground rule I put forth was that she can't no longer shut me out when something is bothering her based on how she thinks I will react. She needs to allow me to make that choice instead of her doing it for me. Its a tough pattern to break but I think this is one where my consistancy in change has made some huge inroads. Its still uncomfortable for her ... obviously still fearful in awakening the old beast, but she has been making some gallant efforts since moving back and my new ways are gradually putting her at ease.
Are you guys in counselling? No, after our last couple of experiences with C's, neither of us are fans of C in general. I think Michelle is a rare gem ... perhaps that one in a million.
What are your recommendations for other LBSs? Oi, gonna put me on the spot here, huh!? After nearly three years of posting on this bb, to sum it up I guess it would be ... "To live with the conviction that only you can make the difference in your life and you do it be deciding to make today a better day than yesterday and life will get better."
Are U happy? I will save this one for my next post.
Are U keeping a journal? No. Believe it or not, the only place that I have been inspired to express my thoughts in words or to journal is on this bb. Its truly out of character for me!
Are U wearing your rings? Yes. Both of us ... and from the moment I said yes to her question of do I want her back, she has worn hers every day.
How are the girls? I will answer this one too in the next posting.
Gee, seems I have a lot of questions for you. Bridget, after all this time, I consider you (and a few others here) like family, so ask away. I'm sorry that I've been so recluse lately that you had to ask?
I am proud of you and your success, you know. Awww ... shucks! Thanks and it goes likewise too. You do know you are a big success yourself in all that you have done for yourself in the last couple of years and that you have been a true inspiration for me in getting to a point where I could accept ... I'd be just fine without CAW if that would be the way it turned out.
I continue to send you positive regards, always. ... and you always have my well wishes each and every day.
And ginger cookies. Its a good thing virtual food isn't fattening
After nearly three years of posting on this bb, to sum it up I guess it would be ... "To live with the conviction that only you can make the difference in your life and you do it be deciding to make today a better day than yesterday and life will get better." 
Thanks and it goes likewise too. You do know you are a big success yourself in all that you have done for yourself in the last couple of years and that you have been a true inspiration for me in getting to a point where I could accept ... I'd be just fine without CAW if that would be the way it turned out. 
