Like JJ, I’m glad you didn’t send the letter. I didn’t want to influence you either way because I think you’ve been trying too hard to follow everyone’s advice, and as I implied before, I think it’s time for you to stop seeking/following advice and just be you again.
Having said that, I also have to agree with JJ that the purpose of a Dobson letter should be for YOU. If you write something to CAW, and send it, it then belongs to CAW. To do what she pleases with.
So if your goal in writing the letter was to influence her, then, as JJ said, you run the risk of having it backfire. If your goal isn’t to influence her, then what’s the point in sending it?
So now that you’ve got that out of your system, where do you go from here?
I kinda think I know where JJ is going with his mysterious comments about the best changes not necessarily being the most comfortable ones, but I won’t presume to speak for him.
What I will say, though, is that you’ve been out of your comfort zone so long that you don’t know what’s comfortable for you anymore. You’ve dropped the rope, and CAW has picked it up and handed it back to you. This seems to be a recurring theme for you. Perhaps dropping the rope and letting it lie would be the uncomfortable thing to do, but I can’t say that I’d personally recommend it.
All I can recommend is for you to be the best KAW you know how to be, and let CAW work her way through things for herself. In your place, I wouldn’t stop supporting her, but rather, I would support her in whatever way she wants to be supported. And if she yo-yo’s back and forth, you have to let her do it. (not a very “comfortable” proposition).
Maybe you just have to get comfortable with letting CAW figure things out for herself? Perhaps the reason you keep going in circles is that whenever things start going “your” way, CAW feels like you’re trying to change her so she balks.
