I'm glad that you didn't send the letter, no matter how well written, and how heart-felt it may have been. It's a gamble on which direction they can go on how they're perceived, and can limit your options when it comes to adjusting your "game plan", so to speak. I'm glad that instead of sending it, you took it to heart within yourself, and she noticed the change.
Now, you're kind of on a "slippery slope" here. There seems to be some changes in motion, so you have some challenges ahead of you on where you want these changes to lead.
I know I often "preach" about looking to the past to see "what worked", and I think that still holds true. However, sometimes you have to take a really close look at whether some of these things were REALLY working, or whether they were just familiar and comfortable patterns for the both of you.
With the "Dobson letter spirit" within you now, some of these answers may hopefully become a little easier for you to see. It may help you combine a little of what really worked in the past, with some of what's working for you now, to help to lead things in a better direction.
Was this post a bit vaque and confusing?! I'm sure it probably was, 'cuz it's something I'm still working on a lot myself!
In short, sometimes the best changes that we make aren't always the most comfortable ones. But I'm sure that you know and remember that from past experiences! Be cautious and aware of any signs that you are falling back into any of the patterns of "what doesn't work" in your relationship, that will lead you back to where you were not long ago.
I'll leave you to digest this for awhile, whilst I dwell a bit upon this for my life, too!
P.S. Take note that I'm responding to you on your thread in "piecing", not the other one you have going!
JJ
Read about Divorce Busting® Telephone Coaching here!
I'm sure it probably was, 'cuz it's something I'm still working on a lot myself!
